It wasn’t you, Renegade, it was me…
I was ramping up for an extended work trip and needed to set aside my post from two weeks ago. At first, I felt pressure because of the missed (self-imposed) deadline. And then realized that I wanted to provide some unhurried, hopefully impactful insight about rest and wouldn’t be able to do that while trying to publish for the sake of it.
So, I’m coming to you three weeks in a row in March - starting today!
What came up for me as I was feeling behind, was the self-imposed pressure I place upon myself when I want to be helpful to others. To you…
It’s not easy to plop down and churn out words that I think make sense and will help you get on board with upending parts of your life to normalize rest. And yet, I can’t help but come back to my kitchen island and my soon to be “vintage” MacBook Air and harp on the significance of real rest.
I was recently teaching a group of women about this and was reminded that repetition and clarity are needed for action to take place. I don’t want rest to seem like this novel thing that those women in that season of life do with ease. Rest is for everyone of us and can be prioritized today.
Did you know that there are several types of rest?!?
Wait. Before we get into that (there is a series coming soon y’all), let’s define and then redefine rest.
rest defined
Maybe so much of the challenge in pursuing real rest is because we don’t really know what it means. I think this also impacts how we incorporate retreating and other things that help us recalibrate into our daily lives. So, let’s jump in…
For my dictionary using friends (you’re my people!), you’ll find several meanings of the word as a noun and as a verb/action word. Which gives us a lot to think about. Because the word “rest” can mean a lot of things, you have to determine what it means to and for you so that it is a positive, beneficial choice you make on the regular.
The definition is helpful for knowing the history of the word and all of its possible meanings, but you have to take some time to figure out which parts of the definition fit what will help you feel refreshed after practicing that restful thing.
Go ahead and click over to the definition for detail.
I know, right?!? This is why English is one of the most complicated languages to learn - because one little word can have so many different meanings. This is why I think many of us don’t prioritize rest, because we can look at the first definition “repose, sleep” and quit there.
“When would I sleep?” Or, “I can hardly sleep”.
”How will all of the xyz get done if I don’t get up early or stay a little later?”
”One more hour, one more task - the list needs to be tackled and so rest will have to wait…again.”
I get it. I really do.
I am not perfect at resting when I experience overwhelm or when the list of things that only I can do need to get done and by a certain time. It’s frustrating sometimes because I talk about rest a lot, but still find myself needing to revisit and redefine it even in this season of life.
A full on empty nester and only myself to be responsible for - you would think I’d have all the time to frolic, play and rest, right?!? That’s a big no. I have to fight for restful activities and also constantly have to define it for myself.
Hence the journey on this little Substack about rest. I want us to do this together. To discover our own best ways of prioritizing rest together. And one of the best ways I know how to do this is to be more clear about what rest is (and isn’t) for me.
When using the definitions in the dictionary to look at rest, I am defining the word by what I most need to show up and be the best for myself and others in this 52nd twirl around the sun. I do need to prioritize getting more deep sleep. I would like to be more at peace with and within myself. And I believe that embracing more quiet and less stimulation from devices and distractions would help me feel more rested.
Which means I can look at these traditional meanings (and those are just from the first noun section in the dictionary) and question how those definitions can fit into my life today. What an opportunity for rest to get a glow up; am I right?!?
redefining rest
Funnily enough, I often know what I want by deciding what I do NOT want.
This is something I do now without needing to put pen to paper, but I’d like to introduce it as a practice for us all this week. You can try this in one of two ways…
Go get that journal you bought at the beginning of the year for all that journaling you said you wanted to do - no judgment - and let’s get started!
draw the line
Open to a blank page and draw a line down the middle of the page. On one side of the line, write down the restful definitions that stand out to you think you would benefit from. And on the other side, list the ones you think you would not feel rested from prioritizing at this time.
on the inside
Another way to clear this up is to draw a medium-sized circle in the middle of a blank page. Leave enough room to write plenty of things on the inside and on the outside of the circle. Then use the definitions from the dictionary to decide which ones go on the inside (things you’d like to try/prioritize) and those you’re not ready for or interested in will go on the outside of the circle.
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Try not to worry about how you’re going to make that rest you most want happen for you right now. This is an exercise in deciding for yourself what type of rest you really believe you want and clarifying what that may look like in the next week and month.
If you are someone who tends to talk yourself out of trying something new because it seems insurmountable simply at the thought of it, please take a deep breath and know that we’re going to come back to making these types of rest come off of your journal page and into your real life.
But, for now, today - while reading and doing this activity - it’s most important for you to give yourself permission to define (or redefine) rest for you and decide what it can look like in your life.
renegades work
Be patient with yourself.
You may be at the point where you can only read about making these changes. I feel you. Even though I’ve been talking about rest for a couple of years now, I am noticing that there is not a lot of information easily available. Which just means that it isn’t normalized in our society and communities just yet. That’s why I call those of you doing the work alongside me “renegades”.
Simply put, a renegade is one who rejects convention.
In the context of this work (because practicing prioritizing real rest requires effort) it is incredibly important to question tradition and expectations that are placed upon us and especially the ones we accept and carry ourselves. I am not encouraging you to burn down what you’ve built. But, I am nudging you to be deeply curious about the lack of rest in your life and the impact it is having on you and those who rely upon you.
Go slow, with intention and expect that change will come.
As usual I am motivated to find the best rest for me in my everyday life. Keep leading the journey I am listening.