I'm coming back here real rested...

what you can expect in the new year

Hi readers! It has been four months and a few weeks since my last post and it would be an understatement to say that “a lot has happened” since I last shared my writing with all of you. The recap of all that will be shared in a special post sometime in the summer of 2025 - when a year has passed from my last post. I really want it to be solid and clear and (hopefully) inspiring, so I’ll need some time to reflect on all that has happened. But, I didn’t want to wait.

I wanted to come back and begin sharing to start the new year.
Let’s get started…

In case you forgot what I look like - ha! - this is a photo of me serving at a Christmas Eve church service earlier this week. I am wearing my hair naturally and really so happy and proud about it because look at how long it is. I lost a pair of prescription glasses and had to get this pair, but for the most part, you should recognize me.

I wasn’t excited for this Christmas, but I made it through. It was my first time sitting in the reality of spending it without Mark in my new home, far from family + long time friends. But, it wasn’t due to lack of invites or offers. And it wasn’t horrible. I think I needed to lean into the quiet of the holiday for myself and know that I could survive and that’s what I did.

It helped that I’ve been away from here (and social media) for the past four months. I have had a lot of time to practice being still and quiet and it’s been a game changer. Some of you may recall that “quiet” was my “one little word” for 2024. And like most of the words that I’ve chosen in the past ten years, I tried to outrun doing the work associated with my special word, though I desperately want the results and benefits from it. It’s strange, but definitely on brand for me.

When I finally allowed myself to practice being quiet on the back half of this year - some of it having been forced upon me - I experienced changes within me which has impacted how I viewed almost everything around me (in a truly remarkable way). I’m getting off track from why I’m writing this letter though, so let me put a pin in the what had happened was part of this post and get back to what I really want to share with you here, before 2025 officially begins…

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thank you friends.

Before I share what you can expect from me in the new year, I just have to pause and express my gratitude to/for you.

Thank you so much for reading what I’ve written. I am especially grateful for the ways you have nudged me to come back to writing and sharing here. If you do anything that feels like it’s being done in a vacuum (like you’re writing into a void and like no one is paying attention) you can easily believe that what you write/do doesn’t matter. I definitely felt this way a lot because it wasn’t really clear (to me) what my message was and how when I’ve been toppled by grief and overwhelm that I could offer anything that made sense or would be helpful to anyone.

But, I went to weddings, connected on phone calls and at work engagements and also received emails, texts and even notes from you asking me when I’d be back. You graciously reminded me that I am a writer. And those constant messages stacked up when least expected and from people who don’t know the other people who mentioned the same or similar things and it healed my heart. Your words were edifying and encouraging. And your sentiments put a smile on my face. They were gentle reminders of a promise and prophecy I heard years ago about my gift with words and I knew that it was time to start again.

I have missed writing and am so excited to back at my keyboard daring to share some things with you that I hope will encourage and uplift you.

in the new year.

The work that I do for real is demanding and incredibly rewarding. And 2025 is about to be a wild ride with new opportunities to further impact the people we serve. I have a lot to do with my calendar so I know that in addition to the events that we are planning and preparing for, I know that I am going to need to be focused heavily on rest, recovery + refreshing - all with intention - and that is a lot of what I’ll be sharing with all of you.

And I hope that you can relate to what I share.
Our jobs are probably different. We may be at different seasons of parenting/childrearing. And you may not know what it is to experience an empty chair at family meals. But, everyone of you knows the need (and desire) for rest.

this writer’s gonna write.

It helps for me to make meaning of my lived experience. And this is easier when I pause to journal and reflect on what has happened and what its felt like. But, then it’s really solidified when I can publish it and share so that others can collect what may be helpful to them or even cause them to become curious or investigate a new perspective or outlook.

So this little Substack (and nook of the Internet) is going to help both of us. And I hope you’ll stick around for the whole thing this year.

My plan is to publish 24 letters or posts to you in 2025. They will arrive in your email inbox (unless you’re an active Substack user and get into your reading on the platform) every other Saturday by 6am Pacific Time. I imagine it’s better for you to receive something like this on the weekends so that you can break from whatever you’re up to and sit in a restful position with pockets of time that don’t feel rushed. I hope that you will sit with and read every word. And let it do something to your outlook on rest, recovery and refreshing.

In August, I will share a lengthy “special edition post” that will give you some insights into some big milestones in my life and how those things are related to my decision to double down on rest + recovery in this way. This will be a longer, probably more vulnerable post and will touch on some things that have been instrumental in me leaving social media and choosing a more off the beaten path experience. This special post will be in addition to the 24 posts I plan to publish next year.

All of my posts will be FREE this year - there will be no paywalls or posts to pay for. But, I will be paying attention to your emails, questions and comments. The more vulnerable your inquiries, the more I’ll consider creating a more private place online to share openly and in a way that hopefully encourages you to step into those waters with me. taking an online course about how to do this (Substack/write) well and am hoping to learn how to grow this community in a way that works for the both of us. So, I really hope that you will read but also engage with and even question what I share here. It will be good for us all.

Because, when I write, I feel like I’m doing something big and bold. The things that are in me can sometimes seem so minor sometimes compared to what’s happening in the big world. But when I have the courage to post, someone somewhere responds in a way that reminds me of how important it is to do the things we enjoy and share as much as we can along the way.

So, that’s the plan starting next week! I know. Exciting!!!

I’ll get into this more when I begin posting more regularly, but in case you forgot I’ve been big into rest and retreats. And it’s more important to me as I continue to grow and age well as I enter into new seasons of life (which is still happening). I’m still learning which stretches me. And though I enjoy learning, it tires me out faster and for longer periods of time. I am finding that my need for rest and recovery has increased exponentially in the last few months. I suppose this is why it was important for me to get quiet. In that quiet, solitude and slowness, I found more of a need to be real rested.

Which is the new name of this space and my work learning and sharing about rest and retreats. No more “Regina Retreats”. Not that I could ever forget my sweet Mister (for new readers - late husband passed away in January 2023 from a rare glioblastoma/brain cancer), but the dream we prayed about and planned for together died with him.

I tried. I really tried. I wanted to revive the plans and keep going so that I could build something that honored the conversations and hopes and plans that we made, but in the quiet, I realized that that specific dream was most vivid with him by my side. So, I’m letting “Regina Retreats” go, which is largely why I believe I can start writing about rest again.

The truth is that I am person who is navigating life mostly alone. I believe I’ll write more clearer and authentically while embracing this reality. I am praying this will help me heal and move forward.

on being real rested.

Other than changing my platform’s name and pivoting away from focusing retreats, not much else will change. I am going to be leaning into rest and challenging us all to be more intentional with plans for recovery in the biggest and smallest ways, in our daily lives and on special, more taxing occasions.

In an effort to write to people I understand, much of what I share will be directed at those who may be grieving, recently traumatized and people pleasers who don’t yet believe that there is a way for them to love others well while also loving themselves. I long to have my posts encourage busy, overwhelmed and overcommitted women to embrace lifestyles of regular rest, planned times of recovery so that they can more often respond to challenges and hurts with hearts, minds and bodies that are light and refreshed.

Ultimately, I dream of growing a community of real rested renegades who are confident because they prioritize rest instead of perpetuating the unattainable expectations placed on women to carry the whole world at the detriment of their own health, needs and joy.

The definition of a renegade can be off putting for those who are used to keeping up the status quo - even if its killing them/their spirit. I am not encouraging you to rebel reader. I promise, there will be no recommendations to flip tables on your journey to embracing real rest in your lives though at times you may be tempted to feel that way. Consider me your cheerleader and remote coach. My heart is to nudge you to challenge what you do and why you do so much of it so that you can live your life and love your people real rested.

We’re going to take steps every other week…together.

I’ll share a personal story, hardship or an update about something that I think most of us can relate to. It will likely be something that has been (or is almost completely) resolved so that my feelings don’t distract you from seeing yourself in it.

Then I’ll share a new perspective, a key takeaway, lesson learned or deep knowing (an expression you’ll hear more in depth in that “special edition post” next August). And in that, I hope to challenge the systems and beliefs that may keep you feeling guilty and unable to clarify and pursue rest and recovery in your lives. I will probably get a little preachy because rest is so important and needs to be higher on every one of our priority lists - forgive me now.

Finally, I’ll share how rest and recovery played its part in my new outlook, growth and decision to change.

It is my hope that these posts will give you some courage. And that your new or growing courage will help you take a step toward being THE voice in your home, family, workplace, friend group and/or community who gently, lovingly and confidently challenges by example the very things that are keeping us stuck, making us sick and keeping us small and miserable.

All of this means that my posts will be more long form and hopefully be conversational. I want it to be as if you were hearing me speak to you. I want you to feel like I’m just a couple of steps ahead of you and that I’ve earned enough of your trust so that when you consider changing your mind to go back to the way its always been - you will try to take that next small step toward being real rested.

Sometimes, I will try to make you spit your drink at the screen from laughing so hard, but sometimes my words/experiences may make you angry or you may feel doubtful about trying something new.

Believe me. I want you to really be rested. And I know that it won’t necessarily be easy. But with honesty and transparency, we can better address and resolve the things that keep us from putting ourselves on our own lists.

I’m excited. Are you excited?!? Maybe even a little nervous. Yep, same…

The first official post of "Real Rested” will be shared in a couple of weeks. For the high achievers who just can’t wait, you could spend some time journaling and thinking about where you might like to incorporate more rest into your lifestyle. Don’t stress out about the “how” just yet. We’ll get there.